A year ago

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Where were you a year ago?
Can you remember?
Can you remember how you were feeling? What you were doing? What situations you were in? What people were in your life? What thoughts went through your head?

I can.

And let me tell you this…
I’ve come a hell of a long way since then.

Yesterday, I took a walk along the beach. The weather was impeccable, so I took advantage. I also live just down the road from it. Yes I got sunburnt on my face and that could be a reason why I’m currently ill in bed (sunstroke?).
Anyway, I was walking along the sand, surrounded by a number of other people, blue sky, warm wind, earphones in with feel-good music in my ears (best feeling in the world).
I was in complete contentment.
As people began to thin out and I was coming closer to the road I have to walk up, I sat down on the seafront wall, just looking out over the glistening sea, still with music playing.

And I just sat and was suddenly overwhelmed with a remarkable feeling.
This time a year ago, I was dreaming. Wishing. Hoping to be here, where I am now. It’s been very difficult, but I made it. And no, things are still hard and I still struggle a lot today, but it’s still better than how it was, even if it’s only slightly.

Some of you won’t even understand what the hell I’m going on about because you don’t know the whole story. Maybe someday I’ll do a post about it…

But things weren’t the best a year ago.
And even though that was the case, I still received something wonderful from the pain. The situation has shaped me into the person I am today. I don’t think I like the person I was a year ago that much. She had no idea. She was quite clueless, I’d say. Didn’t think about what she really wanted. Made decisions before really thinking about it first. I’m gobsmacked at how different I am today. I’m working on myself in such a good way, I think. And I’m still learning. I’m more grateful. I enjoy the smaller things in life. I’m spreading more love. My view on life has transformed for the better. My mind has evolved into something I’m actually really fucking proud of.

And here’s something I’ve learnt…

Some doors must close before others can open

And that’s exactly what happened.
Things came to an end, but other wonderful things began.

Whether you believe in God or believe in fate, we wouldn’t be left to struggle for too long. We are given these struggles because we are strong enough to handle them. And then one day, something remarkable will happen and the page will turn over.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is that it is absolutely incredible how things work out. How they change and benefit you in the end. We are growing every day and that’s amazing. These experiences we encounter, whether good or awful, help to shape and form us into the person we were meant to become.

Not everything is bad. It truly does get better. I am living proof. And yes, things still aren’t amazing, but they are getting better.

Slowly.

Slowly, but surely.

x

( INSTAGRAM – https://www.instagram.com/RosieMackrow/ )

 

 

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