“Help me! Someone spilt their drink on me!”

First off, I want to hereby declare that I, Rosie, agree to posting regularly on this blog as for me, creativity is a wonderful thing and I find it pretty damn enjoyable. And I actually have 50 people following this blog, which for me, isn’t too bad. (Laughs at myself)

Ok, anyway…

At the end of June this year, I went on my first ever girl’s holiday!
I flew to Portugal with two very close friends of mine who I knew at school. One of them has an insane apartment out there which is owned by her grandparents. A free place to stay? Bangin’. (I made sure to say thank you)
The place was gorgeous! 2 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, kitchen, living room, dining room and a choice of 3 pools just across the grass. Perfect.

So, the first thing we did was of course, freshen up. We arrived at the apartment pretty late, excited and ridiculously hungry. We made our way across the street to a cute little bar to get the holiday started (All of us are legal, so chill) and after demolishing some chicken wings and other bits and pieces, we start on the wine. At this point, I’m raring to go, I’m ready and waiting to have a good time. I’m single, in a hot country and excited for what’s to come.

Our ‘good time’ starts to take off as we come to realise that it is indeed karaoke night at the bar, so after finishing our bottle, we jump right in and show the other 6 or so people in the bar (the place was pretty dead) how to do it.
This is the point where I’m drunk, another bottle has arrived (a different one, which isn’t good) and I’m handed the mic to sing  Elvis’s “Can’t help falling in love”. This song is such a beauty and I love singing it. Now, I’m not actually that bad at singing, but being absolutely trollied, I lost the ability slightly. Although, the bartender said otherwise. I’m sure he took a liking to me, though. Great.

The night goes on, we sing more songs and a third, yes, A THIRD bottle of wine is put in front of me. I’m gonna cut to the chase right now, I am indeed a lightweight. So by this point I’m saying “No, no, I can’t”. My other 2 friends, who can handle their drink better than me, insisted I had a glass. Long story short, I lost that fight. They then wander off and start talking to a couple of random women. I think they were from Ireland? I don’t have a clue, but I’m sat there thinking “I’m screwed”. Yes, Rosie. Yes you are.

As my 2 friends carry on singing, I’m sitting there with my head on the table and it suddenly hits me. I’m gonna be sick. Holy sh*t, I’m gonna vomit. I’m sure I’ve got a phobia of being sick because when it happens I panic like crazy. I step down off my chair and I have never felt so drunk in my life. The ability to walk became so incredibly difficult. I made it outside, sat down by an outside table and am soon joined by that same bartender who puts a glass of sparkling water in front of me, which was nice. Aaaaannnnddd…

3, 2, 1..


All over the floor…and partly on my feet. Brilliant.

I’m not too sure what happened next, apart from my mates carrying me home and snapchatting me saying something along the lines of “Help me! Someone spilt their drink on me!”

That sentence then went on to become not only the phrase of the holiday, but the phrase of our entire friendship. And yes, I still have those snapchats.

This next part is graphic…

After arriving back to the apartment, my friends strip me down to my underwear (That’s right, I’m naked now), put me in front of the toilet to let me get the rest of the alcohol out of my system. All the while, I’m still saying “Help me!”. And that small part of my brain that was still the slightest bit sober was thinking “Bloody hell, my tiny nips are out and they can see them!” Ugh but what a complete baby I am. They then put me into bed and I’m out like a light. Bless them. What angels. Honestly, find friends that will do that for you and they’re friends for life, I swear.

I haven’t really touched wine properly since….
..Oh no, that’s a lie, I had a glass the other day…
..What I mean is, I am not having that much wine ever again!

That’ll probably also be a lie in the future.

I’d been wondering when my first time throwing up from alcohol would arrive. I feel like it was bound to happen at some point and I am EXTREMELY glad the occasion has been and gone.

So yes, there you have it. The first night of my first holiday without any adults and I already wanted to die….





It was funny, though.

R x




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