I HAVE DECIDED ON SOMETHING (which is good for me, considering I’m SO indecisive)
I’ve been through some things, some changes, some emotions. I’ve lost some people, gained other stuff too. But I have decided on something recently that, I think, will benefit me in the long run.
I’m gonna TOTALLY reset myself.
Let me elaborate…
I feel like my life isn’t going anywhere right now.
Yeah, I’ve gained some new qualifications, got a new job (which is only small right now), learnt a new skill which I now have for the rest of my life…but I STILL feel like my life is at a stand still.
Nothing amazing is happening
I’m not happy with my life
I’m not content with my life
I’m bored of my life
My life is average
My family & friends are all amazing and I love them so much. They’re not the problem.
This is only to do with me and my life.
Like I said, I’ve been through some stuff lately that has really made me question the person I am. Am I happy with what I am doing with my life? Am I happy with the type of person I am? To an extent, yes, I am pleased with who I am. I’m kind, I’m friendly, I’m loving and all that.
But there’s some other stuff which I DISlike about myself…
I can be lazy
And it’s gotten to the point where I feel there is more to me than what I already show. There is more to me than what I think there is. I feel ready to mould myself, once again, into more of the person I want to be for the rest of my life. I’m ready to completely detox my soul and body and make room for this new and better version of me. That’s all this is, I’m welcoming the new and improved, updated version of myself. Like, cleansing the soul, almost?
So there’s a few new things that I’d like to try. These could totally fail and not work at all, but I’m feeling pretty determined to give them all a go at some point or another…
- Less time on social media
We all have something we’re addicted to. It could be drink, drugs. Whatever. Mine is 100% my phone and social media. I think spending some time away from it all every so often could be really good for me physically and emotionally. I’m never gonna stop it altogether, but maybe every couple of days or weeks, just forget about scrolling through my phone and peeping into other people’s lives for a while. I’ve realised that doing this and seeing how other people live can sometimes put a downer on MY life and how I am living.
- Go on morning/evening runs
This one is so random. I had this thought the other day when I was walking to work. What’s the harm in going for a run? It could be so good for me. Such a healthy thing to get involved with. And I have this amazing route I could take, along the seafront. I love listening to uplifting, motivational music, so I could have that playing in my ears as I do so. It’s not a race, I can go at any pace I like. It’s just that whole getting up and finding the energy to actually do it that could stop me. But, I do really feel up for getting into it. I’m a big lover of nature, anyway. And I think that the reason why I get so down and depressed is because sometimes I’m not getting out of bed til like…10? 11? sometimes 12? (don’t judge me). Maybe getting up early in the morning could be a good thing to make me a better person with a better life.
- Focus on myself and NOT boys I’ve had my fair share of issues and problems with the opposite sex. ESPECIALLY lately. It’s been an eye-opener for me, to be honest. I’m a complete hopeless romantic. I love the idea of love and being in love and having a special someone who you think is amazing. Believe me, I’m all for it and I’m waiting for it, too. But, I don’t wanna let it rule my life. Ok, so there’s no guy in the picture right now (anymore), why not focus on myself whilst I wait for the right one to come along? I’m not the type to let any random fella in, I’m very guarded right now and I 100% know what I’m looking/waiting for. Like, I’ve got it down now. I know if someone is wrong or right for me. So in the meantime, I should just forget about them and focus on me and what I’m doing.
- Focus on family and friends I have such a wonderful family. I love them all so much. Yes, even my brother. Sometimes I feel like I don’t see them enough. Or I don’t spend as much time with them as I know I should. I wanna improve that. And it’s the same with friends. I want to focus on improving friendships with the mates I have already…and maybe start brand new ones with new people. Friendship is highly important in life, it’s basically like having more that one family and I should give it 100%
- Dive in with career experience I have no idea where I’ll be, career wise, in a few years. I could be doing something completely brand new. I struggle all the time to decide on what my true passion is. I still don’t know if I’ve found it. But right now, maybe it’s a good idea to just get out there and experience as much as possible? Maybe? I think that sounds like a pretty good idea.
- Sort out my mental state
I find myself to be quite a worrier. I panic, I get anxiety, depression. It’s never ridiculously severe, but it’s there and it’s a problem to me. I don’t like feeling these things and I’m ready to let go of all this negativity I have inside my head and welcome the positive. I’ve decided to act upon it and speak to someone. A doctor maybe? Someone that can give me some advice and help me figure out how to stop these bad thoughts and feelings that I’ve been having. How to fight through them and come out happier. All I’m focused on is being happy.
- And GET BACK TO LOVING MYSELF
I say it a lot. And I mean A LOT. Self-love is so important to me and I take it very seriously. Lately, I’ve struggled with this. I always have times when the self-love has just gone. It’s disappeared and I don’t like what I am or what I see. I get envious of other people. I’ve realised that I’m not 100% happy with myself, even though there definitely are parts of me that I really like. So, I’m now gonna focus on getting myself back to where I want to be, get back to that place where I feel confident, I have self-belief and I fully love myself. Self-belief has been an issue for me for a long time. I struggle with it very often, but I think now is the time to really look at myself and know that I am capable of many things in life.
I think it’s really important to, in life, try new things and let yourself evolve. Let yourself grow as a person and become who you are supposed to be. Go through struggles and go through amazing times that all fit together to make you who you are.
Never stop growing